Waiting for April Showers

Well hello! I know, I know... it's been awhile. I dunno why I haven't kept up with writting. I've definatley been keeping up with reading though. This night shift thing is messing with me a bit. I'll get used to it soon I'm sure. 

Everyone please pray for Bree & Nora and their family,  while they are in the hospital trying to get Nora baked a little longer prior to her arrival. Bree I'm thinking about you guys constantly and I hope you know how much we all care about you!!!

So not much has been going on with me. I'm kinda boring. Work is going really well back on my old floor. I really missed the people and it's been great to be around them again.   :o)

Oh, I guess something big did happen since the last time I wrote. Ryan got laid off!! Doesn't that suck!? Now we're living on just my income until he can find another job. We also lost our health insurance and had to pick up the crappy insurance at my work. Hmmmf. He's trying hard to find a job but it's not a quick process that's for sure. He worked at an engineering and architecture firm and does CADD and stuff like that. Fun fun.

We've been walking a lot since the weather has been niceish lately. We even went on a picnic today at a park that had weeping willows. We sat under one while we ate. Weeping willows always remind me of Grace Willow. They aren't quite green yet  but they have nice little buds on them. I can't wait to see them in a month or so. There were a bunch of geese and ducks sitting around us as we ate our little picnic. They freaked Ryan out which was kinda funny. Other then that, it was nice and  pretty relaxing. Some of the tulips are starting to flower around here. I love when that happens. It's a sure sign that spring is coming and new life is on it's way. The ducks were even walking around in pairs today. It was cute. I'm sure there will be little duckings soonish. I took some pix but it was getting ready to rain at the time! Rain or not, it was 65 degrees today! WOO!

We got home and took the dogs out for a run in the field before the rain. 

KenziMylee

See Mylee running behind Kenzi in the pic above? She's crazyi! HAHA. Oh, and It didn't even end up raining until way late in the evening.

Yesterday, we took them for a walk in the woods.

Our dogs are like our children!  I scrapbook so I always take an inappropriate ammount of pix! HAHAHA

Mylee and Me

Monica let a balloon go for Grace during her balloon release for her Gracie Jane

Up, Up, and Away!!

(Thank you BB. Love your Guts.)

I guess I'm waiting for April Showers to come and wash away all of the sadness from the last few months. Wouldn't that be nice if that's all it took?? Seriously though, 2010 has sucked. January, we lost Grace. Febuary, Ryan lost his job. Lastly, March, some wires in our fishtank caught on fire while I was home and spread like crazy, very quickly! It was a good thing I was home and was able to get it under control. If it would have been a while later and I would have been at work, we would have lost everything. We were so lucky that nothing was damaged except for the fishtank lights. It was an electrical fire so all I had to do was cut the power and it stopped. It scared the crap out of me though! I can't believe how fast it spread, and how quickly it stopped. It turned out that the wires in the lights we have were just crappy. We've had them for years and then poof, all the sudden they burn up and catch on fire.  I'm really hoping for a peaceful April.

I can't believe it's been a little over 2 months since we lost our beautiful Grace Willow. :o(

*sigh* Oh gosh I miss her so much it hurts. I know I've said that a million times but I can't help it. I feel the pain of my emptiness every second of the day. I still dream about her dying all of the time. I wish I could get at least one glimpse of her happy healthy body and soul playing in a meadow in heaven. It just hasn't happened yet. I had one dream where she was alive, a week and a half before the ultrasound, and a few days before the emptiness began. She died in that dream too but she was alive off and on throughout the whole thing. I was sitting in a corner watching myself have the surgery. Watching the emptiness in process.  She was born alive, I held her for a while, she died, I revived her, Ryan held her, she died, he revived her, handed her back to me, and she died again. That's the jist. It was a VERY weird dream and it haunts me. I'm starting to forget what her little flutters felt like. I only felt them for the last 2 weeks before she died. It wasn't nearly long enough. I'm starting to forget. I hate that. I want to remember her little flutters but it's fading. I listen to her heartbeat that I have in her heartbeat bunny EVERY SINGLE NIGHT before I go to sleep. It's a beautiful sound.

*snif snif, cough cough* Blech I'm sick right now. Of course I am now that I have crappy health insurance. I think it's just a sinus thing. I'm taking dayquil now and it's helping a bit.

Anyway... with this new spring like weather I am hoping to start feeling refreshed soon. We'll see. Ok, well I think that's about all that's going on. I hope you all have a peaceful day.